Month: November 2012
PLAYING WIFEY WITH NO HUSBAND! BY SOLOMON ADAMS.
Playing wife with no husband? You have nothing to gain, but everything to lose.
Let me just warn you…this will be a very raw article in which the truth is more important than spared feelings or sugar coated realities. You see, as a woman, I’ve realized the dangers of being a person who hates truth and lives a lie. Unfortunately, there are many ladies, ourselves included, who are living lies and rejecting truth even though it has been living that lie that has caused us the most sorrows.
Most of us have gotten this whole relationship thing wrong, so wrong that our relationships look no different from marriage. In essence, about 70% of black women are single, but probably at LEAST 40% of those women are still playing house. I ask you, does it make sense to perform wifely duties if technically, we have no husband?
How is your boyfriend your hubby?
As black relationships and marriages continue to decline, I have seen a frantic surge of desperation in my sisters. Now, I love you all because I love my people, but we are not, nor have we ever been a website aimed for preaching to the choir.
What good has that ever served?
But back to the surge of desperation…it is this desperation that has many single black women referring to their mere boyfriends as hubbies. Now this premature label does hold power, and no, it is not harmless. As we begin to call our boyfriends our hubbies, we begin to act like wives. We’re shacking up with, cooking, cleaning, and sexing men that haven’t even married us.
Why on earth are we giving just any man husband-like treatment? Our desperation to have somebody, hell anybody, has us taking on roles prematurely, but then hurting when a man leaves his pretend marriage, which is the usual fate with our imaginary hubbies in boyfriend form.
So what exactly is a wifey?
I’d say wifey is an immature title that just reeks in the ignorance of our failure to understand the difference between dating and marriage. Since wifey is wife with an unnecessary letter attached to the end, it’s clear that this term was invented to add an unnecessary obligation to the unmarried woman.
Men want wifeys more than they want wives.
What does a woman have to gain in a pretend marriage?
Nothing actually, but amazingly, she has everything to lose in such a faulty relationship. In our pretend marriages where we have been ignorantly labeled as wifeys or pretend wives, we are giving our complete selves to our pretend husbands.
There’s no ring involved, no paper filed with the government, and most importantly, no true vow taken in front of God; yet, we are still giving our complete selves to men who have not given us their complete commitment.
Though I’ve pointed out that a woman has nothing to gain from a pretend marriage or from merely being a pretend wife, someone will point out that she gains experience in how to be a wife simply from pretending to be a wife.
And this draws the following question:
Does one need experience to survive marriage?
I figured it’s best to look at the couples who have been married for many years, and survived a world that has changed, and yet still manages to love their spouse and honor their vows.
Usually, these couples are married 20 years or more. They come from the earlier generations, and they view relationships and marriage completely different from our own generation.
You’ll notice a few things with them:
1. At least 90% of them did not shack up prior to marriage.
2. Depending on the generation, they didn’t even have sex before marriage.
3. They recognized the stark differences between marriage and dating/courting, and treated each in respect to their allotted differences.
4. Marriage was viewed as an upgrade to dating, and not merely an exact entity that has no real difference.
5. They valued marriage.
Technically speaking, they had no experience when they married their spouse of over 20 years, yet today, they are still married.
So who was the deceiver who said a couple needs to live together before they get married to stay married? I wonder how this particular misinformed individual would feel if he/she saw that now 70% of black women are single, and the ones playing house become so miserable in their pretend marriages, they wonder if real marriage is even worth it.
Like our grandmothers used to say…”Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?”
Let’s stop giving away our milk ladies, and begin a movement in bringing back the sacredness of marriage.
Playing wife with no husband? You have nothing to gain, but everything to lose.
My Beautiful Hearts wots Ur take here?
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry by Chygaga
‘RADIOWAKA CloseUp’ on Nigerian Alternative Singer, Ese Peters. by Chygaga
A talented singer and songwriter, gifted with a distinctive, understated but emotionally resonant vocal style, Ese Peters is a unique and original musical talent who has developed a dedicated following among music lovers drawn by his musical explorations of the various dimensions to love, hope and faith.
A relative newcomer to the Nigerian music scene, Ese Peters has enjoyed critical and commercial success since embarking upon his solo career in 2010: his previously released singles – “Gone (Wetin I Go Do?)”, “Stay With Me”, “Walk Away”, and “Omote” – were all well-received by the public, as was his 2011 independent release The Acoustic EP, a collection of acoustic renditions of his singles and of classic songs such as Asa’s “Baby Gone” and Darey’s “The Way You Are”.
Music lovers have similarly been receptive to Ese’s live performances thus far, with his performances at industry showcases such as Taruwa, Rock Nite, Freedom Hall and One Mic Naija where he has garnered rave reviews. Against this background of quality song writing and memorable live performances, Ese has become recognized as an emerging star of the thriving Nigerian alternative music scene.
A gifted songwriter, a brilliant producer, talented composer and an accomplished, self-taught guitarist, Ese – who counts rock acts The Goo Goo Dolls, U2 and especially, John Mayer among his influences – considers himself a romantic storyteller and sees his music as the perfect medium for conveying his narratives to his audience and also coping with an uncertain world. To him, music is “political, spiritual and mental liberation”, and he sees his mission in life as “changing the world, one song at a time” armed with nothing more than a warm voice and a gift for striking the right chords in his audience’s hearts.
Radiowaka meets up with the Nigerian Alternative Singer, Ese Peters and he talks about how music started for him and how it has been so far.
*Chygaga: Hello Ese!
*Ese Peters: Hello!
*Chygaga: Can we meet Ese Peter? What are Your Full names? And briefly explain your Background? Academics?
*Ese Peters: My full name is Ighrakpata Peters Esere. I’m from Effurun in Delta state; however i was born in Warri. I’m the youngest of three children (i have two older sisters) born to my parents, who relocated to Lagos when I was 2 years old. I’m a proud graduate of the University Of Benin, from which i obtained a bachelor’s degree in politics and public administration in 2008.
*Chygaga: As a kid, What type(s) of music interested you?
*Ese Peters: Basically church music. One of my sisters would come back from boarding school and teach us the church songs she learnt during the school term, I think that was the first time I ever tried to sing. It was a lot of fun for me as a kid. My dad introduced me to The Beatles and Paul Simon at an early age but I didn’t really appreciate them until later. So, yea, church music was my thing when I was younger.
*Chygaga: How will you describe the kind of music you make?
*Ese Peters: My music is a blend of Acoustic Rock, folk, alternative rock with some pop sensibilities.
*Chygaga: What’s the inspiration behind your latest single ‘Omote’, and what inspires your music generally?
*Ese Peters: I wrote Omote a few months ago: it was, contrary to popular opinion, inspired by the birth of my niece.. The song is my way of telling her how much she means to my family and i, and how grateful we are for being blessed with her presence. My music is inspired by everything from relationship experiences to observations to the music of my idols. My family is also a great source of inspiration to me: without their love and understanding, I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I have so far, and I’m thankful every for their support.
*Chygaga: Which artiste you haven’t had the opportunity to but will like to collaborate with?
*Ese Peters: I would love to collaborate with Darey and MI: they’re both really talented artistes who have attracted new audiences to their respective genres by pushing beyond the limits imposed upon them? I would also love to work with Nneka, she’s another special, unique artiste. However, my ultimate collaboration fantasy would be to make an album with Brian Eno: i think he’s the greatest music producer on the planet.
*Chygaga: Are you signed to any record label/management?
*Ese Peters: Yes, I’m signed to AbOriginal Music.
*Chygaga: Should we expect an album from you anytime soon?
*Ese Peters: Yea you should, we are working towards a lot of things, including a full length studio album.
*Chygaga: Where do you see Ese Peters in the next 4, 5 years?
*Ese Peters: God willing, I’d have a couple albums to my name, be a much more improved musician and individual, and living my dream of touring the world and making it a better place one song at a time.
*Chygaga: If you had the power, what will you change about the music industry?
*Ese Peters: I’d change the kind of music that gets appreciated, by placing more emphasis on real musicians: composers, instrumentalists’ session singers’ true vocalists and producers & arrangers; they deserve to receive a lot more of the recognition their talent and efforts really deserve.
*Chygaga: What advise do you have for fellow up and coming artistes?
*Ese Peters: Be true to yourself, put God first. Hold on to what you believe. Never give up on faith, hope and love.
-Interview by @ChyGaga on behalf of http://www.radiowaka.com
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry by Chygaga
Vocis “On Fire”
The wait is over. THIS ▬▬▬▶ PREMIERE: Vocis – On fire (Freestyle): http://t.co/DI4Ge8Xk | via @RADIOWAKA
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry by Chygaga
Vocis “On Fire”
The wait is over. THIS ▬▬▬▶ PREMIERE: Vocis – On fire (Freestyle): http://t.co/DI4Ge8Xk | via @RADIOWAKA
Chygaga's Blog 